My Feelings.....

Okay, so i honestly can't help my feelings and what I think! I know that I have been able to visit Scottie since he has been in tech school. But I can't help the angry thoughts that I have had because we didn't have the funds to move down there, not to mention everything we would have to do, like change all the addresses on our bills, and then to have to change the address again when we move to Idaho. That would have been a pain! ANYWAY....I have got to visit him like what 3 times, memorial day weekend, fourth of July weekend, we visited two weeks after his the fourth of July, and Addie and I and of course Bo (Scotties Boxer went). That was a nice weekend, felt good to have our little family together again!

ANYWAY and now we are on our fourth time visiting this next weekend. His mom is going with Addie and I, which will be a nice weekend! But ya know how frustrating it is to Drive over the Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas state lines twice all in one weekend. It gets frustrating, especially knowing that I could have lived with him these 4 months, but we didn't have the funds to do it! He wouldn't have been able to live with us, but at least we would have been able to see him everyday, or every other day, and we would have been together on the weekends.

ANYWAY, that's past tense now right! It just makes me down and sad sometimes...... The times it puts me down the most is when I see friends and family with there significant other.... Like right now, Richie and Liz have there friends over, okay so let me explain this, its Richie and Liz, Michelle and Griffin, Chad and Jackie, and then theres Samantha and the air......They came in and told me that I could come outside and hang out, which I know that. But it puts me in a down mood ya know, to be the odd one out. I guess I could have woke Addie up and took her outside with me lol...

The fact of the matter is that I am more than ready to move and be together as a family again! Don't get me wrong, I am going to miss mine and his family dearly!!! But it is time for us to be our own little family, ya know. I just know its time for us to be together and experience things as a family. I am super excited about getting to ride bikes, haha. Addie is to, we will be able to ride around base together!! It will be interesting to see how Addie adapts to all of it! But it is all going to be worth it! Its going to be awesome to experience a new place. A place that I have heard WONDERFUL things about!! I am ready to start blogging about our new adventure in Idaho, and posting pictures of our new house. It will be so much fun and we can't wait!

I am just rambling on and on....But this is how I feel and I don't want anyone to think negative of this, because that's not what it was meant for! This is just how I have felt, and I just needed to get it out and it feels good!!!

Family time in Texas!!!

She looks pretty Snazzy in her shades huh!

Ok so this is the first time since March when we dropped off Scottie to go to BMT that we have been together as our own little family for more than just a few hours. We had the weekend, it was great, friday night, all day saturday, and all day sunday! It was fun, although it was way to hot to be outside and do anything, even swim, we had fun! Thank god our hotel had an indoor swimming pool.

So I made Lazagna before we left so he could have a home cooked meal for a change. So saturday night we all sat down together and had a family dinner, even though it was on the bed in a hotel room, it was still nice to have a family dinner!!! It was awesome actually, the little things I look forward to..... Having a family dinner just made my night with him! It was nice to sit down just the 3 of us, hang out and have a meal together!

We also decided to take Bo on this trip with us, anyone who doesn't know who Bo is, he is Scottie's Boxer. This is the first time since March that he has seen his master! When he first seen him, he really didn't do anything, just stared at him. didn't wag his tail or anything. Just stared at him and sniffed him. But as soon as we got back to the hotel it was a different story. He was all over him, wouldn't stay away from Scottie. He laid on the bed with him, well actually got on the bed and laid on top of him; slept with us at night time. It was so cute to watch!! I guess we will see how it is the second time around him not seeing Scottie until September now, we will see if he remembers him. But it was cute!

Addie is our little photographer , she kept taking my camera and would say okay mommy get by daddy so I can take your picture!

This next picture if ya can't tell is at the hotel swimming pool, it was super nice:

Addie decided she wanted to play "soldier". She marched around the room, and played in her daddys hat. It was so cute! She would say I want to go back to base and march with daddy.

My Airman :)

I just can't help the feelings I have towards all of this!! I am soo proud of him for what he is doing, what he has accomplished, and what he will accomplish! Scottie is doing absolutely amazing is tech school! We are both definately ready for tech school to be over with so we can finally live together again! Like I thought she would, Addie had a really good time this past weekend with us! She had our attention, she didn't have to fight between 10 people to get her daddy's attention. She was good for the most part! She had her moments, but what 4 year old doesn't have a moment! We took her swimming, and just hung out in the hotel room. She is only 4 years old, I am thinking that her moments came from being cooped up in the room, but It was just way to hot to be outside! She was all over her daddy, telling him story after story, pretty much none of the stories were true, but that is her specialty, she can make up stories just like that. lol

The past two times we visited Scottie, besides when I said goodbye at BMT, have been really hard. The past two times we visited he was aloud to stay overnight with me, but let me tell ya that makes it way harder to say goodbye and go back to my reality for now. I myself need to try and be stronger as a person, wife, mom.... I think it just really makes me mad because I know I am aloud to see him whenever, I could live there, but don't have the funds to do it! We are both ready for tech school to be over with so we can finally live together again! I think that the first part is the hardest, I am talking about Basic Training and Tech school, it is the hardest part because in BMT you can't see them at all, but they can call home maybe once a week for 10 minutes. and in Tech school you can talk to them every night, and your aloud to see them, but you might not have the money to travel or move and do so! I think once tech school is over it will be alot better, not saying that if/when he gets deployed that won't be hard, because it will, but I know that we will deal with that differently, we have talked a little about that. He says he doesn't want to have to keep saying goodbye until if/when he gets deployed.

The past two times I have said goodbye to him I have cried, but I honestly can't help it! Spending the weekend with your husband and then saying goodbye after 2 days sucks! But I know its all going to get better, not that it has been bad, it has just been hard!

This is going to be such an awesome adventure!!!

Our Beautiful, Wonderful Little Girl!!!

Where to start with Addie Leann! I would have to say that she is the best thing that happened to Scottie and I! Even though we started young, we wouldn't go back and change it for the world! She is absolutely amazing. These past few months she has made me mad continuously ( what child doesn't make there parent mad) she has made me cry, she has made me laugh...or just to sit and listen to her 30 minute long story in amazement and wonder where she just came up with all of that!

I would say the hardest thing for Addie to have been dealing with and trying to understand has been why her daddy has been gone. Since march she has been trying to figure all of this out, why we went and visited him when he graduated and then left again without him. Same with this last time that we visited him for the 4th of July, why we went there and the day we were leaving to come home she kept saying I don't want daddy to leave again; and when we came home it was back to her same ol' attitude.

But it has been wonderful to see that just in these past 3 days, she has started to change. Saturday at the softball Tourny, she was soooo good that day. Then the next day we went floating and she went with us because she was so good Saturday and she was sooo good on the river that day. Yesterday she was also good, It wasn't an all day staying mad with her. She had her moments during the day, but overall, she was so good!

I have been talking to her alot this week and telling her how just her and I are going to see her daddy this weekend and spend time with him together, and how much fun we are going to have. She is so excited to go see Scottie this weekend!

On a lighter note, she was talking to Cody last night ( my sisters boyfriend that she is in love with lol) and she kept telling him " I'm excited to go see daddy this week Cody" He would say oh yeah that will be fun!!! Then Cody asked her " Addie, do you like Texas"..................................................Her answer " Ya, it has bathrooms" WHAT lol, I started cracking up, like wow child that's why you like Texas because they have bathrooms. It was so cute, when everyone was done laughing at her, because I told everyone, she said no I don't like Texas.

I just know that we have beautiful, wonderful little girl!! This adventure is only beginning, its going to be soo interesting to see what she thinks when we move. To see what stories she comes up with, or to see the things she isn't quite understanding! She so smart, I think she is to smart for her own good sometimes! But she is wonderful and always will be!!

In loving Memory of Chief Warrant Officer 2 Rick Richardson Jr

Our team in red called the Booze Hounds:

Today was the Benefit in Honor of our fallen Soldier Chief Warrant Office Rick Richardson Jr.

On June 10, 2009 he was killed while dismantling an EID in Afghanistan. Rick worked as an Explosive Ordinance Disposal Officer in the United States Marine Corp. He spent the last 13 years of his life serving our country!!

Our team got logos and made our own shirts, Addie was our "bat girl" lol, her shirt has Scotties Squadron number on it. We thought that was cute!

Two of my 3 sisters from left to right, Whitney, Lauren and myself!

We all had so much fun today, oh my goodness did we suck, lol. We knew we would before we signed up! But it wasn't about winning, it was about everyone coming out, having fun and doing something for a good cause!!! I am pretty sure everyone that came out today had a very good time!!!

I was the catcher for this inning, haha, I guess you could say I did okay!

My baby girl taking a break, she worked soo hard today, haha!! She was a good cheerleader.

Nicole and I getting ready to leave for the tournament!!! My oldest sister.

We all had sooo much fun today! Even though are team wasn't that great, we worked really good together and tried. But like i said in the beginning it really was not about winning! We came out and suported a GREAT cause and had so much fun doing it! Sometimes you need to put all the seriousness aside, stop and think; hang out with family and friends and have a good time! Life is to short to be serious all the time!!!

I would have to say that today was a GREAT success!!!

My Little Fish :)

Addie absolutely loves to go swimming and just this past May, at the end of May when I was coming home from seeing Scottie, she called me and said "Mommy I have a surprise for you when you get home". I didn't know what to expect, but I get home and they jump back in the pool, I am so proud of my little fish. Needless to say she HATES wearing arm floaties now!

She looks like a dolphin in this picture, she was getting ready to go under water, going for a night swim:

She swims way better under water than she does above water! When she is above water its like her back end sinks, she stays above water but the only thing showing is her head! But shes a good swimmer under water for sure! This next picture is from her birthday, my baby is 4 years old now!!!!

She got a big super soaker water gun for her birthday from her Uncle richie, she loves it. This next picture her Uncle Richie fillied her water gun up with cold water from the hose, and she thought it was funny shooting people with it, because people were running from her!

Hope you enjoy the pictures, shes a wonderful little girl!!! She has so much to say and can make up so many stories, they are alarious as she would say. I don't know where she comes with half the stuff she says!

My First Blog---where the adventure began!!!!

I would have to say that the real adventure started when I found out I was pregnant in high school! I married Scott D. Oberkramer March 18, 2006, went on to both graduate in May 2006, and then went on to have our beautiful baby girl June 21, 2006! Needless to say we have had a really rough past 3 and a half years! Not that rough even describes it! But if any young couple our truly in love they work through it, and we did exactly that! Scott is the love of my life and I couldn't be happier with him!!!

But the second adventure and when everything started falling back in to place started March 2010. In March we drove Scott to St. Louis and dropped him off at the hotel to leave early the next morning for Basic Military Training, by far the hardest thing I have done since having Addie!!!! It was the hardest thing we have done as a couple to say goodbye to each other for the next 8.5 weeks. Waiting for that first phone call sucked, and when I got it, it sucked even more, it was like 2 minutes long, sounded like a robot, was reading off a peice of paper what to say to me, and when he said goodbye started crying! It was horrible, so from that phone call it was the wait to the next phone call, they gradually got better, but not easier! The next few weeks with him being gone went by a little faster, but by no means was it any easier.


Addie is just soo confused and doesn't know what to think. She knew that we took daddy to the hotel and dropped him off to go to "basic train" is what she called it. I explained to her its work, but seriously how in the world do you explain all of this to a 3 now 4 year old. We marked the days off on the calendar, she talked to him for the couple minutes he could talk to her for. Sometimes she refused to talk to him! We only got to talk to him once a week usually on saturday. he only got 10 minutes, he got 20 minutes easter sunday! But geez, can you imagine how difficult that is to only get to talk to your husband, your best friend, your lover, the one you go to for eveything for only 10 minutes once a week. It sucked and I tried so hard not to cry and I did good, except one saturday that he called me i just couldn't hold it in!!! But poor Addie I just don't get how to explain this to her still!!! The hardest thing besides him leaving that I had to deal with was Addie.
What comes next, my husband graduates basic military training! He is soo happy and so proud to have accomplished such an intense 8.5 week bmt that changed and transformed him in such an amazing way!!! It was sooo amazing seeing him for the first time, at the airmans run, I was recording it hoping if I didn't see him I could watch it back and maybe I just missed him because they all look alike. But no as soon as I seen his face right as he ran right in front of us, the camera pointed towards the ground and its like my heart stopped, soooo amazing seeing him for the first time!! Amazing, no words can explain it really. What it feels like to see your significant other after 8.5 weeks!!! The weekend with him was awesome, but over way to fast!!! 4 days later I am heading back home! Another hard goodbye, it was soo difficult saying goodbye to him just after 4 days. It was just Addie and I, my in-laws left a day early to get home to there new grand baby, and gave us an evening for just the three of us together! So monday morning Addie and I head back home, she seems to be okay, Addie was so excited about getting home and meeting baby Blayre, so was I!! A couple days go by and she goes back to being mad, angry, upset, confused. So many problems for such a little girl. I just wish some people could understand what she is going through and accept her for right now. I went back to visit him for memorial weekend, just him and I which was great to have a weekend with just me and him! But in some ways I regret leaving Addie behind that weekend, she found out where I was and after I got home she had so much anger towards me!

The hardest thing I ever heard from Addie was just about 2 and half weeks ago she looked at me and said with tears in her eyes. " My daddy doesn't love me anymore". Absolutely broke my heart! I just looked at her and walked away with tears in my eyes!!! What do you say to that, I actually was so choked up I couldn't say anything, about ten minutes after that she found me and hugged me and said " I am so so sorry mommy". It's just sad really, no matter how I explain it to her or what I say to her, she still won't get it because she is to young to understand!

This past weekend we all went the whole family and visited my Airman, it was amazing really this time, because he is in phase 3 and got to stay the night with us!!! Which to tell you the truth made it soo much harder to say goodbye this time! But let me tell ya, Addie loves her daddy oh so much and you can see it in all the pictures!!! We are going back down there the weekend of July 16, just Addie, Myself, and I am taking Bo. I am thinking thats what Addie needs, even though it will just be the weekend, maybe she needs a weekend of normalcy with her mom and dad!!! So she doesn't feel like she has to compete with 10 other people ya know! Maybe thats all she needs is to actually see her mom and dad together again, and us all sitting and hanging out together. Maybe thats all Addie needs it to truly feel loved again by both her parents together!!!! Not trying to sound corny or whatever, I am just lost and still trying to figure out how to deal with Addie and this transition!

Only knowing that I am going to have to do it all again, even though when we move and will be together again, we are moving from her two sets of grandparents, and aunts and uncle, that will miss her! So this adventure is just beginning right? I just heard and it is more true than anyone can say.

"It never gets easier; you just get through it"

So my first Blog, everything up to date! There is more to come!!!